Yesterday, in many churches across the nation, high school seniors donned their cap and gown and “crossed the stage” of our sanctuaries. The service framed by their achievement, the sermon charged their future, and the gifts celebrated that they’d made it to the end of one great journey, and to the beginning of another.

In many cases, Graduate Sunday exists as a bittersweet moment among the graduation festivities. While it is generally the first of the celebrations to come, it also marks the end of the congregational experience they’ve come to know and love. In churches with youth groups, they’re now moving into a slightly ambiguous place, where they don’t fit into the “6th-12th” grade community they’ve known for the last 6-7 years. In others, the transition is marked by the move to a new place, where their church building congregation are not directly present.

In the face of such a pilgrimage forward, many students do not know what to do with this new reality of their personal relationship with their church. In most cases, students move away and their church becomes a place to “pop-in” to on the few occasions they journey back home. In many of those situations, students are welcomed back, but do not find the same place in the congregation that they left behind– everything has changed.

So, what can congregations do? How can we stay connected and continue to give these students a place in our communities as they go into the great new land that is post-high school life? While this list is not exhaustive, here are a few suggestions that I’ve seen over my time as a youth pastor, college minister, and campus chaplain:

1. Prepare Them For What’s Ahead

No matter how confident your graduates may appear, they do have some worries as to what’s next. Work to pull together voices from the collegiate sector (professors, students, parents, etc.) that can teach them about professor relationships, legal mindfulness, community building, and (maybe, most importantly) that they can be people of faith in the college classroom. Beyond these things, also spend some time teaching them what your congregation believes about scripture (explaining inerrancy, for example) theological positions (women in ministry, etc.), and why certain aspects of your worship are important to their journey. Let them know that it is ok to think critically about things related to faith, worship, and church. Let them know that this will be a normal part of their young adult journey of which they should not feel guilty. You’ll need to work to allow them room to ask questions and arrive at answers in their own time, but also remind them that their home church community is still there for them when they need it.

2. Intergenerational Partnerships

Before students leave at the end of the summer break, assign them an older congregant who will commit to pray for them often, write them regularly, and connect with them when they are home. These partnerships can be with a single congregant, a couple, or a few people. Letting them know that their congregation is thinking of them is great, but adding an intentional and personal communion is even better.

3. Care Packages 

A staple in the congregation/student relationship, but an important one. Care packages are great ways to let students know that their home community is thinking of them and that they are not alone. Avoid the temptation to just fill these with candy, post-its, and highlighters (which are all important to include), but also add in letters from congregants of all ages, momentos that will remind them of home, and notes from the church staff.

4. Provide Them Space

In many congregations, these graduates have had a place to commune with their peers– whether that be in a youth group, or a Sunday School class. While we’re working them toward seeing the intergenerational nature of the church, throwing them into a “20-somethings” class won’t work in the long-run. Allow them space to commune with other young adults their age and use those moments to help them prepare for congregational life after their next graduation. Connect them with older adults in these spaces, teach them about the community of the church, give them leadership positions (more than just youth group retreat counselors), and let them know that they still have a place where they belong in their home church. For students not going away, do this all year. For those that do move away, make sure you have places for them to plug-in when they’re home for break. Throw a cook-out, plan a service trip, take them on a retreat, and give them space to participate in worship.

5. Keep Them Updated

In addition to getting their school address for care packages, also utilize it to send them a church update just for them. Include events, photos, and things to look forward to when they come home. It is also good to obtain their school email address (as much as they may argue the opposite, they WILL be using it), and send them updates via that medium. Not only does this let them know that you are thinking of them, it also helps them stay connected to what’s going on– and keeps your congregation from being regulated to a part of a past life of which they don’t think about often.

6. Visit Them

A ministry colleague of mine visits every young adult sent from his congregation throughout the school year. This travel is blessed by the congregation and they financially support his doing so. What better way to let them know that you’re thinking of them than to come TO them? While you are there, help them connect with a campus minister or church in their new community. While we campus ministers appreciate your sending us contact information for our students, coming with them to make introductions face-to-face make a large difference in their long-term connection with such a community.

6. Don’t Forget Their Parents

Whether they’re sending their first graduate off, or their third, parents still experience some sense of loss each time a student goes off to college. Be intentional about giving parents of young adults a chance to get together for conversation, encouragement, and advice swapping. Having a community that can relate to where you are in life is critical– especially when you are sending your child away for the first time in their lives.

You have commissioned them with Graduate Sunday, now GO with them into the spaces and places that are ahead. Let them know that they always have a place in your community and that you are always there when they need a little taste of “home.”

If your church has done anything else that has been useful, please feel free to add those in the comment section below!