This is how my Friday started as I arrived home from work and walked into our house. I walked in to find a very hyper and happy 12 year old who I had meet only twice before. I know all about his past and his present. I know how his life has been up to this point, the bad and the good. I know many facts, but this weekend  was different, it was going to be about getting to know who he is, and for him to know who we are- and also what life might look like if he could live with us forever.

 We’ve learned that many things in this process can  go really slow, like all you do is wait. You wait to only be asked to wait some more. And you do. You wait, you take classes, you imagine, you read profiles, you pray, you answer a million questions, you examine yourself as a person, and a potential parent. You wait for the license, the go ahead, you wait on buying things for a bare room, you ask friends and family to wait for news, because honestly you don’t know much either. So, you keep waiting, because you know eventually something will happen.

Then one day things speed up, and you go from zero to tween in a single weekend.

We’ve known this visit has been coming, and we’ve also meet this 12 year old twice. Once at a matching event, once on our own with just him and  case workers (ours and his).

But you never know what might happen, so we haven’t said much of anything until today.

To make a long story short, we have been invested into possibly bringing a sweet, energetic 12 year old boy into our home, hearts and family. And this weekend was the first step into making that happen.

I know some of you may be questioning or thinking that 12  is much older than what we may have said we were looking for. But, as it’s been recommended to us, never try and predict anything with foster care. You are asked to keep an open mind and an open heart. So, we did that, and a door was opened.

We spent the weekend learning about each other. We learned he likes to get up early, he likes to eat (a lot, all the time), loves basketball and wants to only watch football on the tv (which he doesn’t want to watch much tv anyways) He has good manners and is polite. He likes to talk as much as he likes to eat, and when (I mean if) there is a moment of silence, he sings. And we love it!

So, here’s the full weekend break down:

 

 Saturday morning we walked the dogs, made breakfast (waffles, hash browns, eggs, and sausage), ate the giant breakfast, brushed teeth, walked a mile while exploring Bass Lake, and went up to the park to shoot around the basketball…all before 11am! (I texted a friend to ask if this was parenting and luckily, for me, she said it was) After this, it was off to the library for books (he picked out R.L. Stine’s Goosebumps…which made 12 year old me happy since I had read a few of those too!). We had to do some Walmart shopping for food supplies and then we headed home for lunch.

After lunch we decided that some quiet play or reading time would be good. It took a while to settle down, but our happy 12 year old read for a bit, while I slowly (a.k.a very quickly) drifted into unconsciousness on the couch.

Eventually, the Legos were brought out and he was content watching NFL Network and playing Legos on the living room floor. I woke up from the depths of sleep (30 mins later) and our Saturday continued with another shopping trip to get pizza supplies and then we went to Stick Boy Bakery for cheese cake and coffee.

Back at home we introduced the Nintendo 64 and Mario Kart….(yep we keep it real folks!).

I set up the pizza making station as the boys raced along then we made our pizzas and watched Goosebumps the movie on Netflix. We ended Saturday night with an attempt at a fire pit but the wood decided it wasn’t going to burn well, but that’s ok, because our awesome 12 year old read us a story from his “scary” book. After the story, bed time came and that was that for Saturday.

Sunday we had breakfast and walked the dogs, played at the park, and drove to the courts where we shot some more basketball. But eventually it was time to get ready to take him back to his home. We made the long drive to his foster home and we took time to talk with his foster parents and report on a good weekend. We said our goodbyes and left to head to Raleigh where a CBSF start up meeting was waiting.

Our “normal” life started up again as soon as the doors to the car closed and we looked ahead to another week filled with work, meetings, and more waiting.

*Inhale* and slowly  *exhale*

“So, what now?”

We’ve gotten that question from several friends and family and well, as I said, we wait. We have decided we want to move forward with our 12 year old boy. We’ve expressed this to our, and his, case workers and we will see where it all goes. He gets as much, if not more, say in all this as well. We are positive he felt the same way about wanting to move forward. So, we may get another overnight weekend stay, but when all parties agree we will eventually move toward a placement date.

When we have that, we will start calling: schools, doctor’s offices, and after school care programs. We’ll spend our days trying, as best we can, to get ready for him to be here full time. There will still be a foster period (usually 3-6months or more) before we can proceed with adopting him. For now, placement is our goal.

 Thank you all for your prayers, thoughts, and encouragement as we are making these decisions and going through this process.

 So, the last question we get a lot: “what do we need?”

Now that we have an idea of who, I can post a list of things we think would be helpful in our transition. I will work on a post and let you know. We do not know what he will be coming with from his foster home, so we’ll have to ask you to wait just a little bit longer :)

Thank you again for everything! We wouldn’t be able to do this beautiful, crazy journey alone.

With love,

Heather & Lawrence